dealing with my drinking

one of the things over the last few weeks is cut my drinking down i dont feel i have a major problem as such but i feel i need to do something about it, i dont wake up every morning feeling to get pissed or do i go home thinking i oh boy i need a beer it more than when i do go out for a drink these days i can get through a few,

and when i do go through a few beers i feel like iam another person and not in control of myself, iam not bothered to a certain degree what i do or say to anyone but in the same time iam not totaly lost all my common sence as i know what iam doing and i know that i can get home without crawling on my knees or puking up every moment

iam not realy sure what iam gong to do either totaly stop or cut down even more these last few weeks ive not realy touched beer think the last 3 weeks ive been out to the pub 3 times and thats not like me i can easily go out twice a week no problem, but i have enjoyed stopping in and not getting drunk and doing daft things,

ive caught up on loads of telly and started to watch new programs some times over the last few weeks come 9pm ive been fighting to weather to go out or not fought the feeling than half an hour later the urge to go out has gone and just carryed on watchign was i was on telly, and just enjoyed the one can of beer

only time will tell what i decied to do with my drinking

goose fair and peechykeen formaly big wok

with it being goose fair i did go this year as one ive not been for at least 5 years and with me havign a ladyfriend to take we both decied to go and i went on a couple of rides, yes me going on a couple of rides 2 i enjoyed but after the 2nd i was feeling delicate my ladyfirend asked me to go on the waltzers with her but i wasnt to sure but me being me i went on with her but i didnt enjoy it one bit and i was even more delicate afterwards,

the fair is not the same as it once was you need a mortage to go there realy witih rides costing 2quid upto 10 quid a pop each even hook a duck was 3 quid all the stalls were mainly food stalls its a wonder they could all compete with the amount there was but them must make a quid or 2 as they wouldnt of been there, its much smaller than in previous years and a burger at 3 quid a pop i didnt bother having one but saying that it might of been better than the food at the resturant we went to before the fair

we went to this resturante called peachykeen once called big wok when it was big wok it just sold chineese food and it was great help yourself buffet the amount of times i went in i never had a bad meal but in august this year it closed down saying it was being refubished, its now reopened as one of these resturants which dose a bit of all sorts of food, me myself when they do this kind of thing they never realy work

there is a place in town called red hot which dose the same thing but something isnt right about it, for example you have roast beef and yorkshire puds but nothing to go with it, its all a bit missmatched same with this peechykeen place they have a little bit of chinesse italian and other food but they mainly offer curry,

all well and good but the singage wasnt that good i didnt realy know if the currys on offer were hot mild or very hot there were lots of sauces in jars but i didnt know what they were cos again no signage, the puddings were stored next to the front window on a table we asked one of the waiters what this liquid was and he said its supposed to be jelly i looked at my ladyfriend and both looked with a okay look, i just wasnt inpressed but ill give it anothe go when they have been opened a bit and if still not any good ill not go no more

shame they changed as there was nothing wrong with big wok as the food was good hot and loads of choice of chineese food puddings were in a cooler and cold and i think peechykeen will waste a lot of the puddings as they are not cold, time will just tell if peechykeen will be a sucsess or not

not blogging much

well ive not been doing very well with this blogging larky ive had all good intensions of writing least a couple of times a week, but just not done so, readers have seen ive made this blog private ill invite you if you want no problem as with this blog iam goign to be writeing more about my private life and work and i dont realy want every tom dick and harry to read but i feel i want to write about it

since my mad weekend lots have happened and changed ive moved back to my parents which i didnt want to do but it was the best thing to do for the time being, and iam settling down there okay, work is going okay but at times i think is it all worth it, it might be easyer to get the sack claim every benifit i can and get some girl pregnet and claim even more benifits but then with me working iam a little more better off or will be by crimbo when my finances a bit better off,

one of the things iam having to deal with is my drinking i think i might have a bit of a problem but not totaly sure, iam not waking up wanting a drink every moring to get me going or anything and i can last a while without having a beer but when i do i go a bit mad and feel like iam going out of controll,

as iam normaly a shy quiet person normaly but when i go for a beer and i seem like when ive had a couple i start losing controll i get brave and dont care what i say or do, and when iam like that it could be more dangerous so for the time being iam not going to drink beer while out but have a can or 2 in the house like i did last night i enjoyed having a beer last night but i didnt get wasted,

only time will tell with the drinking, but one thing my motivation is back up and feel like i want to do things once again iam enjoying my cycling, and i want to start running once again, dealign with depression ive not realy done much about it to be honest i feel i can handle it at the moment without needing to go and talk to anyone but again ill see how that goes but one thing is ill not use drink to deal with it no more

as the other evening i felt a bit down and could of quite easyily gone to get drunk but after half an hour of fighting the feeling of needing to go out for a drink i just ended up on the xbox and didnt have a beer at all so time will see,