not blogging much

well ive not been doing very well with this blogging larky ive had all good intensions of writing least a couple of times a week, but just not done so, readers have seen ive made this blog private ill invite you if you want no problem as with this blog iam goign to be writeing more about my private life and work and i dont realy want every tom dick and harry to read but i feel i want to write about it

since my mad weekend lots have happened and changed ive moved back to my parents which i didnt want to do but it was the best thing to do for the time being, and iam settling down there okay, work is going okay but at times i think is it all worth it, it might be easyer to get the sack claim every benifit i can and get some girl pregnet and claim even more benifits but then with me working iam a little more better off or will be by crimbo when my finances a bit better off,

one of the things iam having to deal with is my drinking i think i might have a bit of a problem but not totaly sure, iam not waking up wanting a drink every moring to get me going or anything and i can last a while without having a beer but when i do i go a bit mad and feel like iam going out of controll,

as iam normaly a shy quiet person normaly but when i go for a beer and i seem like when ive had a couple i start losing controll i get brave and dont care what i say or do, and when iam like that it could be more dangerous so for the time being iam not going to drink beer while out but have a can or 2 in the house like i did last night i enjoyed having a beer last night but i didnt get wasted,

only time will tell with the drinking, but one thing my motivation is back up and feel like i want to do things once again iam enjoying my cycling, and i want to start running once again, dealign with depression ive not realy done much about it to be honest i feel i can handle it at the moment without needing to go and talk to anyone but again ill see how that goes but one thing is ill not use drink to deal with it no more

as the other evening i felt a bit down and could of quite easyily gone to get drunk but after half an hour of fighting the feeling of needing to go out for a drink i just ended up on the xbox and didnt have a beer at all so time will see,