making changes in my life

Since my last post i've really not had chance to post but had a lot to say in one of my last posts I wrote about taking steps to change my life and move on. Well Ive kinda done 2 out the 3 or 4 steps, 1 was to get a new job which I have done got a job as a hosppital cleaner which I really used to enjoy plus it is morning shift 6am to 2pm which means I can have a life no more working until 10pm and I can go out with friends on a Friday night without having to take a days holiday.

Step 2 I decied to take the plunge and say to my ex I want no contact with you for a while so I can sort my head out with my feelings I have for you, she went really mad at me saying on the lines of she needs me more now than ever and I am desertign her. Sorry but you were the one who ended this relationship and the only support I can give you is financal and me to be here for the baby anything else you got to deal with, women being women she went on a bit and in the end we decied to meet this Friday morning to talk I am going with the thought of I walk away with no  more contact as that is what I want and deep down she knows she can not give me what I want to be honest she don't know what she wants so how can I help her when she can't decied what she wants sometimes I wish I was like a normal bloke and say sod you and not care, but I am not like a normal bloke I have feelings and I am very emotional I am going to make her cry on Friday and really shout at her and make her see what she has done to me. You might think I am being horrid here making a pregnent woman cry but she has fucked my head up so much these last few months I am ready to pop.

Step 3 I am ready to move on if my ex isnt and come Friday if we can't work this out I am going to be tough and say well you know what I want if you can't give me what I want ill be ready to cut you off untill just before the baby is born, as I am ready to move on and get on with my life I don't want to meet anyone just yet but I will soon and I need my ex out my system before I can even think of seeing anyone else.

And step 4 getting my own place today my manager has said he has had my new job ask for references for me so things are looking like they are moving which means I can decied where I want to move, At the moment I am living at my mates place its okay but not perfect I think once I get my own place ill finly feel like I have a home to call home as since I've been back living in nottingham which is 7 years i've not really felt settled at all and once I do I think this will make a huge difference.

I wonder what things will be like in a years time I wonder